In case you missed this free agent signing...

Because we're all about the NBA, but specifically players with connections to UCONN and the University of Iowa, i wanted to make sure we all got the scoop on the latest, and probably least noted free agent signing of the ongoing offseason: Jake Voskuhl to the Bucks




The former UCONN center played in Charlotte for the Bobcats last year alongside former UCONN big man Emeka Okafor. Perhaps this is a move of amnesty toward Yi Jianlian and China? Yi's agent and former Chinese team appear concerned that Yi won't get playing time behind big men like Andrew Bogut and another former UCONN vet Charlie Villanueva. Is this Milwaukee's way of saying, "Don't worry dudes, Yi's going to play. Look what we did! Now he has to!" All joking aside, we're stoked for Jake to be playing for the Bucks this year. Oh, not only that but it looks like he's making $3 million. Wow.

Big Jake has played for three NBA teams since he was drafted in 2000, the Chicago Bulls, the Phoenix Suns, and the Charlotte Bobcats and has career averages of 4.6 points and 3.8 rebounds. Last season he appeared in 73 games, the most ever in a series for him, while starting 9.

Jersey Watch: Pitchfork Music Festival

As you know, we here at Rainbows in Disguise were at Union Park in Chicago for Pitchfork Festival this weeknd, and one of the things we did was scope out the hipster fashion. Essentially, the sea of hipsters meant a lot of crazy outfits, but one thing we didn't expect was some sweet NBA throwback jerseys. i myself was wearing my Jason Williams Kings jersey on Sunday, but we never could have expected the multitude of sweet jerseys that would come.


Grant Hill, teal Pistons jersey (one of the ugliest of all time


It took us a while to figure out this one, as he had a backpack on. We forgot Rodman was on the Lakers!


A good old school Reggie Miller jersey


Probably the best jersey of the weekend: Big Country


i couldn't find a picture of it in black, but you get the idea: Ron Artest, pre-insanity


Penny Hardaway


Everyone loves a rainbow Nuggets Jersey


Charlotte Hornets were represented well: First Muggsy Bogues...


...but Larry Johnson too?! Too good to be true.


Chris Webber from way back in the day


Probably my favourite of the weekend, Brian Grant!


Lots of Jordan, naturally, in Chicago, but only one warrants mentioning:


Last but not least, your boy Cadence Weapon putting on his Barkley face:



That's it for now, but that's a pretty damn good collection of throwbacks!

I Pitchforked Your Mom

Hello friends,

As many of you may know, the Rainbows in Disguise crew made a trip to Chicago this weekend, wading through the sea of hipsters and Goose Island beer that was the Pitchfork Music Festival 2007. I'll leave the more in-depth analysis of the festival to our resident music journalist, but I figured since I'm sitting here watching Tanner play video games, I'll offer up a festival "report card" on the bands we were able to see:

Friday (ATP/Don't Look Back)

Slint (Performing "Spiderland"):
Sound: B+
Energy: B
Hipster Factor: B-
Overall: B

GZA/Genius w/Cappadona (Performing "Liquid Swords"):
Sound: B
Energy: A
Hipster Factor: B
Overall: A

Sonic Youth (Performing "Daydream Nation"):
Sound: B-
Energy: B+
Hipster Factor: A
Overall: B

Saturday

Califone:
Sound: B-
Energy: C
Hipster Factor: C+
Overall: C

Grizzly Bear:
Sound: B+
Energy: B
Hipster Factor: A-
Overall: B

Beach House:
Sound: A-
Energy: C-
Hipster Factor: B+
Overall: B+

Fujiya & Miyagi:
Sound: A
Energy: A-
Hipster Factor: B
Overall: A

Oxford Collapse:
Sound: C
Energy: B
Hipster Factor: B
Overall: C

Clipse:
Sound: A-
Energy: A
Hipster Factor: B+
Overall: A

Girl Talk:
Sound: F
Energy: C (it seemed like people in the front were having fun)
Hipster Factor: A
Overall: D-

Sunday:

Menomena:
Sound: A-
Energy: A-
Hipster Factor: A-
Overall: A-

Stephen Malkmus:
Sound: C
Energy: C-
Hipster Factor: A
Overall: C+

Of Montreal:
Sound: A-
Energy: A
Hipster Factor: A
Overall: A

New Pornographers:
Sound: C+
Energy: C+
Hipster Factor: B
Overall: B-

De La Soul:
Sound: B+
Energy: A+
Hipster Factor: B+
Overall: B+

Toddy/Tanner, chime in where you will...

Pierre's 2nd...err, 3rd? Chance!

With the NBA's summer league underway, the focus is exactly where one would expect it to be; squarely on Oden and Durant. However, an interesting link was sent to me today (thanks todd) involving a player that could soon be stealing some of the spotlight away from the two number one picks. Being as this blog is (currently) based in Iowa City, we couldn't let this story slip away. Ladies and Gentlemen, Pierre Pierce returns!

Playing for Golden State's summer league team (yes folks, the Thug Town Warriors just got a little more street cred), Pierce has been averaging an impressive 21 points per game. Although this doesn't guarantee a spot in training camp, Pierce's skills and new found modesty seems to be winning people over, including Warriors GM and owner of the world's greatest flattop, Chris Mullin (insert Clerks animated series joke here).

Pierre's 2nd...err, 3rd? Chance!

Finally Taurean Green gets drafted

Marc Gasol got picked! He's fat! and bad at basketball! The Lakers just picked the Spanish version of Brian Scalabrine.

Scott has to stab himself - the Bulls just took the poor man's Spencer Hawes. Just when we thought Aaron Gray would never get drafted, he got drafted by Scott's team. This is hilarious. i love this.

What Tanner meant to say is that the only team stupid enough to take Aaron Gray is the Bulls. This is what Scott gets for asking God for Spencer Hawes. Be careful what you wish for, motherfucker. i hope you have a good D-League affiliation!!

Now the Bulls make a good pick in JamesOn Curry. i like him, plus he has a great name. In terms of late 2nd rounders, which rarely pan out, this is a great pick.

Finally, Taurean Green gets drafted! A smart late round pick! How did he last this long?

As if this night wasn't long enough, i've now spilled my second beer on Nate Dogg's rug. Fortunately, i made up for it by killing a cockroach in his bathtub earlier. i rule!!

Croikey!! Brad Newley!! That was a feisty sheila!! Fuck. The end of the draft is hilarious.

Ramon Sessions just got picked by the Bucks. He really has the best name ever. The only time i have ever used the word Sessions in my life, it has referred to either hooking up or smoking weed. That's great. i fucking love it.

By the way, does anyone else love that Mikki Moore is endorsing the D-League? That's amazing.

The Spurs take another European player that none of us have heard of, and none of us give a fuck!! Yeah!!

Our final picks: Phoenix at 59: Scott likes DJ Straw, Nate likes Bobby Brown, Tanner likes DJ Straw, and i like Brandon Heath from SD State. J just wants this call from Yao that we were promised at like pick #28.

The boys got it right. i picked some dude i had never heard of.

For the last pick, Scott likes Mustafa Shakur, i like Ron Lewis, Tanner likes some French dude that he's never heard of named Ali Traore, J rubbed it in Scott's face that Aaron Gray was picked by the Bulls, and Nate Dogg doesn't have a fucking clue who is left.

We were all wrong, as they picked Milovan Rakovic. Whatever.

Thanks everyone for reading, especially Brendan Bliss!! You guys are awesome for bearing with us for the whole draft!!!!! Yeah!!!1

Only Castrol Can Protect Against....Engine Cum?

Tanner writing this one...Hooray! Haluska gets taken by the fucking Hornets. In the great tradition of Hawk players getting taken by the Hornets....well, i guess just Ricky Davis got taken by them, but still....I used to chat with this dude before my stats class freshman year (i had the stats class with the iowa kicker, we copied people's homework together)

Aaron Gray is not getting drafted....let's face it, the NBA teams watched the tournament just like we did.

and that damn commercial with goldberg from the might ducks is on again...fucking engine sludge

ps - green has still not been taken....eventually some team will realize this.

We missed the Chris Richard pick

Chris Richard is basically the same exact same player as Craig Smith. Weird.

The Blaze are on the clock: i like DJ Strawberry, Scott likes Taurean, and Tanner likes Derrick. Some of the players left are no-brainers.

Let it stand that all we want is to Adam Haluska, Jared Jordan, and Nate Funk drafted.

Hey, it's Scott. Let's revisit this Bobcats/Warriors trade (now official). Charlotte gets J-Rich and Jermareo Davidson, Golden State gets Brandon Wright. In my opinion, great move for the Bobcats. The LAST thing Charlotte needed was another project, J-Rich is an underrated statistical marvel, plus Davidson is one of the purest PF's in the draft...Brandon Wright reminds me of Marvin Williams, except everyone is less excited about him. Golden State is a much better home for him, so we'll see how it goes...

I hear screams across the hall...

NOOOOO WAY!!!!!!! MUTHAFUCKIN HALUSKA JUST GOT DRAFTED!!!!! NOK at 43...

J: He's gonna be a helluva fuckin NBA player, don't you think?
Everyone Else: Uhhh....

Apparently, Reyshawn Terry is mentally soft.

BRAEBURN MOTHA-FUCKIN BOBCATS!!!!!! Jared Jordan goes to the Clips at 45!!!!! My wildest dreams have come true...I went to elementary school with Jared back in the day...so unbelievably strange to think he's now in the NBA. Todd and I have now both played basketball on the same court as NBA players.

We're just waiting on Nate Funk now...

Crapshoot

Celtics: Scott likes Big Baby, Tanner likes McRoberts, i liked Taurean Green. This is fucking weird. They took Glen Davis.

For Golden State, Scott is voting McRoberts, i like Derrick Byars, again. Tanner likes Byars too.

We just saw a Dr. Scholl's commercial, and all got dumber.

Golden State took Jermareo Davidson. Scott thinks this is a good pick, but i've never heard of him.

Scott likes Taurean for Portland, Tanner and i like Derrick Byars.

THEY BOUGHT THE VIRUS!!! THEY BOUGHT THE VIRUS!!! They are the hustlers of the NBA!!! They will buy anything!!!

Just when we thought Portland was really cool, they took McRoberts! Does anyone in the entire United States think this dude is good at basketball?
HA! Must improve: Scoring ability. Rainbows in Disguise note* Also must improve not sucking.
Stephen A. Smith notes: Also must improve not being black.

Philly with their 1,000,000th pick this draft: Tanner and i like Marc Gasol and Scott likes Aaron Gray. Either way, we can't wait for the punchline to be drafted.

Guest Blogger (Scott): Instead of picking Aaron Gray, Philly decided on the Ukrainian "Aaron Gray-type", Kyrylo Fesenko. I'm still pissed about Joakim Noah. Here's Todd again...
i really think that the Heat are going to take Aaron Gray. Shaq can be his mentor. Tanner is going with Gasol. Scott likes Zabian Dowdell.

For the record, all i've heard about Marc Gasol is that he's compared to Todd MacCulloch, and that he's a fat version of his brother. Why is he in the draft? Why is he allowed to play basketball at all?

Wait, there's a dude named Stanko? That's amazing.

For the Lakers, Scott likes Demetris Nichols, i like Taurean Green, and Derrick Byars. This is the point in the draft where the picks move too fast for us to be witty, and nothing really matters.

By the way, STANKO.

Why do they keep saying that the one thing that they MUST IMPROVE is athleticism? You can't improve that. That's something that is just the way it is. This is stupid.

Also stupid, the Lakers took a Chinese dood that none of us have heard of. Apparently, he's the Chinese Toni Kukoc. Now this is just a crapshoot.

On to the 2nd round

We begin the 2nd round, and i didn't think the blog would last past the 1st round, but we're having a lot of fun even though you are probably bored reading this. So, our picks for Seattle:

Tanner likes Pruitt, Scott likes Taurean Green, and i'm going with Derrick Byars of Vandy.

Boston takes Gabe Pruitt, which Tanner picked.

San Antonio is up, Tanner likes Byars, Scott likes Taurean, and i like Fazekas.

(we were too busy dealing with this Bobcats trade for Jason Richardson to make our picks for Boston. This is ridiculous. We can't figure out if it's good or not - is it? Do they need him? he's good, but doesn't really take them to a new level. Then again, neither does Brandan Wright. Bottom line, this team BETTER RESIGN GERALD WALLACE) don't know what else to say.

We didn't realize that the 2nd round picks went so much faster, so we might miss some. That's okay.

San Antonio goes wth Marcus Williams, who is not the same guy on the Nets. Don't really know anything about this dude, but the Spurs are nasty so who knows.

Dallas: Scott wins it with Fazekas, Tanner and i had Byars.

With the next pick, Boston takes 100 beers.

i am so fucking pissed right now

Did the Pistons just do that? Did they take Aaron Afflalo? Are they serious? What the fuck? This is stupid. i'm outraged.

What did we say? This was too easy. This was a joke we made like 2 hours ago, except that it actually happened. And for some reason, even though it was just a joke, we all knew it would just happen.

By the way, why do they keep playing this All American Rejects song? What is going on with that? They couldn't find anything else? Everything is going to hell right now.

Tanner got the Suns pick right with Alando Tucker. i had Derrick Byars and Scott like Fazekas. This is going to be a great pick. Although, Dick Vitale is still a retard.

For Philly, Tanner is all about Pruitt, Scott hates McRoberts but still thinks they're going to draft him, and i'm guessing Gabe Pruitt too. Tanner was originally a Fazekas fan, but changed his mind. For the record, we all hate McRoberts. Seriously. What a bitch.

J: McRoberts McFuckin' Sucks

The Sixers picked the virus!! They picked the virus!! The Finnish dude that infected Tanner's computer is going to be in the NBA!!!

When is someone going to draft Splitter?

Wait a minute, are you fucking serious? The Blazers just BOUGHT A DRAFT PICK. THE BLAZERS JUST BOUGHT A DRAFT PICK. THE BLAZERS JUST BOUGHT THE SUNS DRAFT PICK.

Why can't we get Stu Scott to announce this? Wouldn't he say that the Blazers just dropped mad CREAM on the pick? Now that the Blazers have the pick, Scott likes Derrick Byars, Tanner likes Splitter, and i like Rudy Fernandez of Spain.

This is awesome. Since the Blazers have Sergio Rodriguez, they could trot out an all-Spain backcourt at times. How cool would that be? i'm all about that.

Utah: i'm going with Fazekas. Scott likes tasty Almond, again. Tanner is going with Fazekas at my advice. He respects the knowledge. Stu Scott, you know about the knowledge right?

Todd: Dude, he's an Almond that went to Rice.

The Rockets took Aaron Brooks, but we forgot to make a pick. i've my Pistons taking Tiago Splitter. Scott likes Fazekas. Tanner likes Splitter too. This would be awesome. i might even buy a Pistons jersey for Tiago. How sick would that be?

Nate Dogg: What's a special assistant?
Tanner: Hand jobs.

David Stern: The Detroit Pistons select Aaron Afflalo from UCLA.
J: He was even surprised.

Is there anyway the Spurs pass on Splitter? Don't they love to pick up the foreigner late in the draft? How did this guy last this long? None of us have seen him, but we're all sold. And we don't think there's anyway he's lasting past the Spurs.

And Jason Smith goes to the Heat. We've never seen this dude played.

Scott liked Splitter and Tanner and i both went with Jason Smith. Sucker. Scott's drinking a lot.

So i'm really intrigued by the Knicks trade. They now have the opportunity to trot out one of the most dysfunctional starting fives of all time: Steph Marbury, Jamal Crawford, Q Richardson, Zach Randolph, Eddy Curry. They might be good, but it will be funny.

Jim Gray to Mitch Kupchak: Is anyone on your team untouchable? Todd: Smush Parker.

Tanner: Dude, there's a guy from Finland on the board!
Todd: Dude, people in Finland don't play basketball, you've got a virus.

For the Sixers at 21, Scott likes Morris Almond because he's tasty, i like Gabe Pruitt, and Tanner is still going with Splitter. When the fuck is someone going to pick this guy? He's good! That's why Philly can't take him. They are stupid. Nate Dogg picked Daequan Cook, so he is the smartest of us at # 21. Then we have a stupid trade, where Miami basically admits they took the wrong person and decides to trade for the pick below them. Some of these trades are fucking idiotic.

We've moved across the hall to Nate Dogg's because we can smoke cigarettes in here. Tanner has realized that Nate Dogg has the whole 2-bedroom apt. to himself, observing that you could fit 8 dead hookers in here.
J: Nobody misses hookers.
Tanner: I do.

Scott likes tasty Almond for Charlotte, i've got Splitter, and Tanner wants Splitter too. imagine Splitter and Walter Herrmann rolling together. The Bobcats could be so good, but i'm not sure they ever will be. They take Jared Dudley, which is surprising but a great pick and fits their mold: experienced, good college players. We like this all around.

For the Knicks: i like Gabe Pruitt, Tanner likes Glen "Big Baby" Davis, and Scott likes Tiago Splitter. It feels like one of us has been picking Splitter for the last 10 picks.

Turns out Spike Lee knew what he was talking about, and we didn't. They go with Wilson Chandler, who sounds like he ought to have gone to the same prep school that Holden Caulfield did, and none of us have ever heard of him. Isaiah is a typically good drafter, so he probably got something good here. We just don't know who the hell this dude is.

We didn't realize Jason Smith was white. No wonder he's still on the board

Scott is going with Tiago, and Tanner and i like Crittenton. They took Nick Young, who is going to suck.

For New Jersey, Tanner and i went with Jason Smith and Scott went with Josh McFaggot. i'm presuming he means McRoberts, but either way we all lose. They took Sean Williams, who comes with a complimentary dimebag. Whoo!! Now Marcus Williams can steal laptops, sell them, and Sean can use the money to buy weed, which he will give to Cliff Robinson. Jason Kidd would be so mad he would start beating his wife, if he still had one. i hate the Nets.

As we are all sitting with our MacBooks, Tanner commented that we are the biggest nerds ever. i responded, except that we're drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. Can't argue with that.
Golden State is on the clock. We all think they're going with Tiago Splitter. Amazing name.

We all lose. They take the Italian dude we've never heard of. His Italian league team sounds like a bad STD: Climamio Bologna. i had a buddy who got that once.

For the Lakers, Scott like Crittenton, Tanner likes Jason Smith, and i'm going with Splitter.

Mark Jackson: "You got some 'splainin to do." Love it.

Dear Dick Vitale: Shut the fuck up.

Love,
Rainbows in Disguise.

Dear Stephen A. Smith: Don't love Dick Vitale to death. Shut the fuck up.

Love,
Rainbows in Disguise

ps: maybe it would be better if you did love him to death, because he would be dead. SLAVA MEDVEDENKO!!

So Philly selects Thad Young, who is essentially the same player as Iguodala. They're the same size, and do the same thing: have ridiculous dunks.

Scott and Tanner are suggesting that New Orleans take John McClane. This sounds like a pretty good idea. i've never seen any Die Hard movies, but i get the idea. The Hornets really need a dude to explode a bunch of shit.

Tanner and i are going with Thornton though, and Scott likes Nick Young.

Hmm. Billy Knight thinks Acie Law can play. Interesting.
Tirico: So Billy, tell us about your draft choices.
Knight: Did you see our new jerseys!?!?

Julian Wright gets drafted, and we all drink. Scott and i are Clips fans, so this gets interesting now.

Scott goes with Thornton, Tanner and i are going with Javaris Crittenton.

Tanner and i are drinking, but we all think this is a great pick for the Clips.

In other news, we've all just finished our 40s at the same time. Somehow, we compared this to all having our periods at the same time. What the fuck is wrong with us?

Scott likes Tiago Splitter here, and Tanner and i like Rodney Stuckey.

Stuckey it is. Can we ruminate on how hilarious this dude's name is? Rodney Stuckey? Seriously? He has "Rod" and "Stuck" in the same name?

Also, have we ever seen this guy play before that highlight? The answer: no.

Spike Lee + Eddy Curry

After showing the absurd trade that gave this pick to the Bulls, we get the gratuity shot of Spike Lee. We're sorry Spike. We're so very sorry.

Me: They should probably pick Aaron Gray.
(laughter everywhere). Aaron Gray is a great punchline.

Joakim Noah: And Scott's drinking again. Scott's a big Bulls fan, and none of us are Noah fans, so we feel his pain. Scott is trying so hard to like this dude. "I'm the ugliest man alive!" We can only hope when he talks to Stu he repeats his post-championship performance.

Scott has proposed an interesting thought: who will score more next year, Ben Wallace or Joakim Noah? It's great that the Bulls now have two big men who rebound and suck at shooting. This ought to be fun.

Predictions for the Kings: i'm with Al Thornton, Scott and Tanner are going Julian Wright. Tanner hasn't missed one yet, so we'll see what happens here.

We're already speculating on how the Hawks can fuck up pick #11 too.

The Kings blow us all away and draft Brad Miller...i mean, Spencer Hawes.
Scott: There is some upside...
Tanner: This is a retarded pick.
And, i have to agree.

Picks for Atlanta: we're all going Acie Law. But we're also all hoping they take Thornton or Wright, so they can have even more Small/Power forwards. Can't this team be made of all 6'9" players? It's like some sort of experiment. They fucking suck enough as it is. This franchise is in disarray. Just fuck it up more.

We're expecting Acie Law to announce his retirement when he talks to Stu. He doesn't look happy.

Todd: Aaron Gray is the new Bryant Reeves.
Tanner: Except instead of Big Country, he's just a big dumbass.

For Philly, we're all going Al Thornton. It makes the most sense, since he's basically the same player as Iguodala. We should get to run every team.

The Bucks may have wasted their pick

We're speculating that since Yi has said he doesn't want to play anywhere except like three cities, that he may just stay in China and the Bucks may have wasted their pick. This pick doesn't make any sense. Where does he fit with Villanueva and Bogut?

Scott and Tanner win, and i'm drinking as Corey Brewer gets picked. This is a great pick for the Wolves. Corey is one of the most likeable players in the draft, and ought to be in the mode of Shawn Marion. Garnett would be excited about this - if he wasn't about to get traded this summer.

Tanner: Brandan Wright.
Scott: Al Thornton
Todd: Brandon Wright.

With the 8th pick, we take: Rachel Nichols. She's hot.

Nate would like them to pick Michael Jordan. Uh, dude...they already have Jordan. As an exec.

Brandan Wright: Scott's drinking.

Tanner and i are picking Joakim Noah for the Bulls, Scott wants Spencer Hawes.

Scott: "Please God, Spencer Hawes." He's going to regret that, if God delivers his team the equivalent of Travis Knight.

There have been so many Stu Scott jokes i can't write them all. "Yo Brandan! You my boy dawg! Back to you Mike! Holla!" Stu Scott needs to go away or find a new shtick.

Absurdity

The trade has gone through, and Boston is taking Jeff Green and sending him to Seattle. What the fuck? i imagine Bill Simmons is crying right now, and i'm right with him. This is totally ridiculous. i don't even know what to make of this.

Jeff Green: Nicknamed "Predator" after his freshman year at Georgetown after sleeping with several high school girls. And just for the record, you can make this up.

Pizza just arrived.

Milwaukee is on the clock, and there is dissention amongst the ranks. Tanner is going with Yi, Scott is going with Brandan Wright, and i'm going with Corey Brewer.

For the record, we here in Iowa City are stoked about the D-League, because Des Moines just got awarded a D-League franchise. They are announcing the name tomorrow, and we couldn't be more excited.

Tanner wins this round, and Scott is drinking lots of OE800 right now.

Scott: Fun Fact: Yi Jianlian becomes the first Chinese person in the history of Milwaukee!

For Minnesota: Scott likes Corey Brewer, i'm going with Joakim Noah, and Tanner likes Brewer too.

The Hawks and the Grizzlies

Update: Scott has changed his pick to Conley to Atlanta. He is a dumbass. Speaking of the hawks, did anyone see the new Unis?
They are awful

We're all going Conley for the Grizzlies.

And we're all correct. This is a good pick for the Grizzlies. They need a point guard and Conley is the best available. Most intriguing scenario? The idea of Oden and Conley not playing together for the first time since like 5th grade or something. Couldn't the Blazers have found a way to trade Randolph for the 4th pick or something? Get Conley and Oden? Wouldn't that make for a great story?

Scott: Mike Conley, you're going to Memphis. How do you feel?
Tanner: This sucks.

Interesting stat: Conley was a ballboy for the 94 Arkansas Nat'l Championship team.

Amazing highlight of Conley Sr. dunking.
What the fuck? What does this mean? Conley Sr. just said that a few years ago he officially became Mike Jr's father. Was there a DNA test or something? Are we allowed to talk about this on national TV?

The draft is about to begin

We would like the first pick to be announced by Oden. Nothing could be better than Greg Oden coming up and saying "With the first pick, the Portland Trailblazers select me." And then unhinging his jaw, swallowing David Stern whole, and walking off stage.

Just flashed along the bottom: Stephen A.'s assesment of the Sonics: "Needs Kevin Durant." Did anyone just learn anything? Is he serious? i really respect this man, but come on. Give us something.

Stephen A.: "You can't teach seven feet." Again. Thanks Stephen A.

Stu Scott just said to Oden that he had always said he didn't want to go straight to the NBA. Tanner's response: "I wanted to go to the D-League first." You can't make this stuff up. Wait, we just did.

First absolutely stupid trade rumour of the night: Seattle sends Ray Allen to Boston for #5, Wally, and Delonte West. Why does Boston want to do this? Do they just hate having that pick? i don't think this helps Boston at all. Wasn't the whole point to get a Garnett or Marion type player? Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are so similar. This doesn't do anything. Only Danny Ainge.

Drinking game update: We all picked Durant, so no one drinks. We've also all selected Al Horford for the Hawks.

Live Blog of the NBA Draft

It's 6:23 central time and i'm here in Iowa City getting set to update the blog throughout the NBA draft. I've just cracked a beautiful Olde English 800 and i'm here with Scotty, Tanner, J, and Nate Dogg. Before the Blazers pick Greg Oden with the first pick, i want to ask the question of why Portland and Seattle didn't try to swap picks. Think about this for a minute, it's not crazy. Oden makes way more sense on Seattle than Portland. Why doesn't Seattle try to send the #2 along with Ray Allen and say, Saer Sene for the #1, straight up. If you're Portland, you get the chance to take Kevin Durant, and pair him with your already established frontline of Zach Randolph, Lamarcus Aldridge, and Jamaal Magloire. Randolph is going to be traded if they take Oden, and is going to be hard to get full value for him. If you're the Blazers, doesn't the following 5 make you instant contenders?
Brandon Roy, Ray Allen, Kevin Durant, Zach Randolph, and Jamaal Magloire. Doesn't this make sense? To anyone? In addition, ditching Allen and signing a big man like Oden instantly makes Rashard Lewis want to resign in Seattle, and Seattle has a great core for the future: Luke Ridnour, Damien Wilkens, Rashard Lewis, Chris Wilcox, and Greg Oden. Wouldn't it be fun to watch these teams compete? Why has no one talked about this ever? Probably because it makes too much sense for anyone.

For tonight, we've invented the NBA Draft drinking game. In it, everyone participating says who they think will be drafted at a certain slot. If you get it right, you have the number of drinks corresponding to the pick to distribute. For example, we are all going to pick Oden at number one. When he gets drafted, we all have one drink to give out. If one of us stupidly picks Durant right now, then we have to take a drink. For #2, it's two drinks. For #12, 12. This most certainly will not play out, but it's fun to start with. i'm going to tune in now to actually watch and post periodically. Thanks for reading, anyone who is reading.

Well that happened quickly

Now that the San Antonio Spurs absolutely made the Cleveland Cavaliers look silly as an NBA Finals participant, i feel as though i need to address it because in the process they made me look silly as an NBA Finals commentator. Now, i was unable to watch every minute of every game, but it's better that way because it was really ugly. The Spurs dominated this series in a way that made the Cavs look like they didn't belong, giving some credibility to the theory that many people have that the current NBA playoff format is inherently flawed. Looking back at my post on the day of game 1, i think i realize what went wrong for me, and also for those commentators who made similar predictions (and i was not alone). What happened was that on paper the Cavs looked so decisively overmatched that we desperately wanted to find a way to make this an entertaining series. It was as if by wanting it to be a close series bad enough, that it would be. But i was wrong, and the moral of the story will be, don't underestimate the Spurs. It's too early to pick them to repeat, given their inability to win back-to-back titles in the past as well as potential NBA-landscape-changing trades being rumored involving franchise players like Kobe Bryant, Shawn Marion, Jermaine O'Neal, and Kevin Garnett. One thing that is certain is that Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili will all be back in silver and black, and this team should not be questioned.

As for the Cavs, they are no lock to get back to the Finals either. i think that it is safe to assume that LeBron James is going to continue to get better, but overall his supporting cast is sub-par and not getting any younger. The amount of money invested in players like Larry Hughes and Donyell Marshall will make them hard to move, and while it would be nice to see Larry Hughes regain the form he displayed in his last year in Washington, i wouldn't expect that. If there is a silver lining to this postseason, it's that the Cavs realized what a gem they had in Daniel Gibson, something i don't think any of us realized. i'm guessing he's not going anywhere, so it looks like if the Cavs want to get better through a trade, they'll probably have to move their energy guy Anderson Varejao, which they will be reluctant to do. It's a long offseason, but i would expect Cleveland to be competing with Detroit, Chicago, Miami, Washington, and Toronto for tops in the East next year. And let's just hope that one year from now, we have a much more memorable NBA Finals.

Finals preview, of sorts

So, it's the day of Game 1. You (and i) have read everything that there is to be said about the impending matchup between the Spurs and the Cavs. So, why do i feel compelled to put in my two cents? Well, because that's what i do. Now, my understanding of this year's playoffs is a little skewed because i missed all of the conference finals while i was in Ecuador. Let it suffice to say that i was both shocked and disappointed at the way the EC Finals went. i, unlike probably everyone else outside of Detroit, was really looking forward to another San Antonio - Detroit matchup. Detroit matches up way better than Cleveland does. Now, a lot of people will be saying that in this Finals we have the opportunity to see LeBron do something entirely unique and player-defining (indeed, potentially even generation-defining). If he can ride off the momentum lingering from his other-worldly (i hear) Conference Finals performance, then we could be witnessing something that will indeed be held up with Jordan's flu game and Magic's stint at center as a rookie. And it's true, that we weren't likely to see anything of that nature from anyone on the Pistons. However - if LeBron looks human against the defensive-oriented Spurs, then we're much more likely to see a washout than we would with Detroit matching up.
There is hope - Cleveland has turned themselves into an excellent defensive team in the playoffs, indeed in the Spurs mold, as you've undoubtedly read about the connections between Mike Brown and Gregg Popovich. In that sense, we could see a good old grind-it-out series like we saw in 05 (apologies for continually bringing up the Pistons). In which case, the series could actually be decided by one factor - the superstar. Now, Tim Duncan is a rock and a superstar in his own right, but my guess is that if one player were able to swing the series in one direction, it's going to be LBJ. Purely on paper, the match-ups don't look good. Tony Parker has an obvious edge over either Larry Hughes or Eric Snow, and although Michael Finley is starting at SG, we know that Manu Ginobili is going to get the lion's share of the minutes. i'll take Ginobili over Sasha Pavlovic, but Pav is a bigger player and very talented in his own right, so he could make it interesting. The place that i think could be an X-factor is at center, where i would take Zydrunas Ilgauskas over Francisco Elson or Fabricio Oberto any day (let it stand that i'm a big Elson fan - he's the player i think the Pistons should have grabbed last summer insted of Nazr). And lets not forget Anderson Varejao, the energy/glue guy. And yeah, people say he's a flopper, but now he gets to go against the biggest flopping team in the league! Should be fun/agonizing. Overall, i would say the Cavs actually have a better corps of big men than the Spurs. Yes, the Spurs have Duncan. And that should win them a championship, again. And i'm not saying it won't. But get past Duncan/Gooden, and i'll take the Cavs' next 3 bigs over the Spurs'. And Gooden isn't a bad player, either. Am i trying to hard to give the Cavs a chance? Maybe. Am i supplying any statistical evidence to back it up? No. i'm just calling it how i see it. The bottom line is, it would be drastically shortsighted to call this series over now. And it's even harder because we don't quite know what these Cavs are capable of. Prediction: Spurs in 7. But let's be honest. We all (well, all of us outside of San Antonio) want Cleveland to win this series. So this is one time where i won't mind being wrong.

Thoughts while watching game 5

So the Suns are out to a quick start, which is very exciting. i for one feel terribly for them and their fans, as well as for fans of the NBA in general, for the way the league has dealt with disciplinary actions surrounding Robert Horry's horrible cheap shot on Steve Nash in the waning moments of game 4. To me, nothing could make for a better story than for an undermanned Phoenix Suns team to win at home and have a possible clinching game in San Antonio when Stoudemire and Diaw come back. Right now it looks good. i'd love for this to go to seven games, but i'm just not happy with the way San Antonio plays. They play dirty, they flop, and they whine more than any team in the entire league. If i could give out an award to the biggest whiner, there is no doubt that Tim Duncan would win it. i don't know if it's just my perception, but i don't ever remember him doing that earlier in his career, even as late as the 2005 championship. Either way, i just don't think they deserve to win the series from an ethical standpoint, and though that certinaly has nothing to do with anything, it's the way i feel. Which brings me to my first link. Bill Simmons wrote an excellent pieceregarding the way the league dealt with the suspensions, which most likely any one who is reading this has already seen, but i'd love to point it out anyway. Bill Simmons

The second one is a problem that i've noticed for a few years and was actually just mentioning to my dad about two weeks ago, but that i haven't seen any journalist cover until now. One of my favorite columnists, Scoop Jackson, has tackled the tough task of exposing Roger Clemens for what he is. And while people who know me will undoubtedly think that this somehow has anything to do with my allegiance to the Red Sox, it actually has nothing to do with it. i actually am just disgusted with the way he thinks he can just start playing whenever he wants for absurd amounts of money. i think he disrespects his teammates, the fans, and the game. Scoop says it better than i ever could; Roger Clemens holds the game hostage. i hope everyone reads this too: Scoop Jackson

At this point, the Suns are up 28-15 and Pat Burke is in the game. Pat Burke is in the freaking game!!! In the 2nd quarter! This says something. Not only is Amere gone, but Boris Diaw, the guy who would have replaced him is gone. Something isn't right. i still think, nevertheless that Phoenix is going to win this game.